Day 32: 10 Things I Learn From My Daddy

December 7th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

Dad’s been an orphan since he was 4 years old. He and his sister were separated. He got adopted by a indo-dutch family in Jakarta, while his sister by a catholic family in Bogor. He had nothing. He never knew what it’s like to have parents and be shown love and compassion. Although he still doesn’t know how to give a hug when I ask him, or say “I love you” face-to-face, he is the most loving, compassionate, dedicated, reliable and funny man I know with heart bigger than a grizzly bear :)

And these.. are things he always says:

  1. Make friends. Keep them close. You never know what can come up from the friendship.
    Even when they are your clients, treat them like friends. And if I learn anything from Dad, he knows how to keep his friends and become friends even with the most random stranger/clients. He’s not the happy-go-lucky person. In fact, he looks like he’s from the Army. But everybody who knows him, LOVES him. Wherever we travel, he always knows someone who would bend over backward for dad, not because he is ‘somebody’ but because he’s done something great for them in the past and they respect him.
  2. You will get lost. Make sure you have a full tank before every journey.
    Just like he won’t let me drive until I know how to park perfectly, change tires and oil effortlessly. But he’s right. Be prepared. If you want to make mistakes, make the big mistakes, not the little silly thing like “I should’ve filled that tank.” » Read the rest of this entry «

Day 31: Start With Why…

December 6th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

It is NOT a coincidence that I stumbled upon Simon Sinek’s website http://startwithwhy.com/, with a message that says:

“All organizations and careers function on 3 levels.
What you do, How you do it and Why you do it.
The problem is, most don’t even know that Why exists.”

Every person and organization on the planet knows what they do. Some know how they do it…

but very few know WHY they do what they do.

Money is not a WHY, it’s a result.

By WHY, we mean why does your organization exist?
Why do you get out of bed every morning?
And why should anyone care?

The leaders who inspire us all think, act and communicate the exact same way and it’s the complete opposite to everyone else. Those who inspire are not driven with what they do, they are driven with WHY they do it.

Unlike the rest of us, those who inspire think, act and communicate from the inside-out of The Golden Circle.

The ability to inspire, starts with WHY.

Once you know Why, How will you bring your Why to life?

Hows are the strategies, guiding principles or actions that inform the path you will take in pursuit of your WHY. They are the road map or the code of conduct to start to move a Why into something useful and tangible. They are, quite literally, the actions you take or the environment in which you work best. If you focus on the big picture, for example, you won’t work well with others who are obsessed with the details.

Knowing How is the key to hiring people who work well in your culture, forming partnerships that will last and finding customers and clients who live or work the way you do.

And What?

Is just what you happened to create because of all of those :) Nice!

Thanks Simon! You have given me CLARITY on where to start!

Day 28: Connect With People, You Never Know What Things You Learn…

December 3rd, 2010 § 2 comments § permalink

Everyone is a source of inspiration and empowerment.

And I believe in that even more especially after having a busy week of catching up with old friends and meeting new people this week.

You are inspiring, is a lesson I once again re-learn while having coffee with an old friend from elementary school. We’ve known each other for 20 years and I cannot believe my ears when he says, “If I didn’t know you since elementary school, I’m probably very intimidated to be hanging out with you.” What??? Me? Why? I am not a successful business woman. I don’t have a prestigious job or position. I am not a millionaire (yet). I am not… the list goes on. But from what he says is, someone doesn’t have to be inspiring just because of the things they do or have but just from being who they ARE and they way they make someone feel. It is as easy as being a joyful, positive, energetic person. So, thank you D!

A movement starts with YOU moving! As simple as that is what I learn from my friend Irwan Ahmett from his passion and projects as he searches for his own happiness. He tells me, he is not happy, so to search for his own happiness, he starts all of this projects such as The Urban Play and The Happiness Project funded from his own pocket. Wow! Before you know it, poeple start to hear about his mission to find happiness and participate in the projects. Now he receives funding for them projects. He was even a speaker at TEDxJakarta. Soon, he shall travel around the world spreading this ‘movement’ funded by other people. And you know what? That was his dream: to be a nomad traveling around the world for a year. I am so proud of him. I thank him for reminding me that if I want to start a movement, I better start with me.. am I already moving? What have I invested? Do I believe in it? What’s my mission?

Do not settle, dreams do come true. It takes her 7 (seven) years to finally have her own Dance Studio since she first started United Dance Works. Her dancers now are the highest paid dancers in Jakarta, with a very unique style who focus on quality, getting treatments just like other artists on stage and they can even make a GREAT living in Jakarta. Her competition are dancers with half the fee that she offers, yet she believes so much in the talent and quality of her dancers that now.. every major TV Stations and Artists look for her. She breaks all stigmas that dancers cannot make a living, that dancers are only erotic dancing, that being a dancer is a professional, proud, prominent job. Yes, it takes her 7 years to get here now – to break these stigmas. Keyword? Persistence.

No such things as coincidence. Jen is an interior designer with affiliations and projects all over the world. Which is perfect because she LOVES traveling. When asked why she became an interior designer, her answer was simple.. “well, I was going to take fashion design, but my best friend took interior design. So that we can go home with a bus together, I switched.” Is it really that simple? What I learn, no plan can be a GREAT plan, because you have no idea where it can take you. Don’t think too much. Just do it!

The art of ‘kepepet‘, is how people rise when they are faced with great adversity. This is what we talked about over dinner with my Oliver and Jen. And when people are still in their comfort zone, they probably wouldn’t do anything. But put them in extreme conditions, then they will rise to the occasion. In some ways, could this be what I am doing to myself at this moment? With no definite job opportunities, no fixed income, no fixed plans… what can come out of this? I have put myself in ‘kepepet’, let’s see where this takes me.

You always have something to offer, is what I realize when mas Al, the prominent Indonesian Life Coach calls me. He wants my help. what? A life coach wants my help? Doing what? As he explains what he wants to do and how I can help him, in my head I was like “Wow, I do have something to offer. People do listen to my opinions and advise. I actually have great ideas.” Lol. What do people go to you for? That’s usually your talent.

Day 23: Is Being Sick Part of Being Insecure?

November 28th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

I don’t really get sick. When people come down with flu, typhoid, dengue, cholesterol, you name it… I stick with my regular masuk angin. Lol, I know, some of you don’t believe in masuk angin – which for me is a sign that I need to go back to doing exercise :p

Mind vs. Body. I am a big believer that when the body gets sick, then there has got to be something in the mind that triggers that. The past month, there are a couple occasions when I got this certain bug that made me throw up all night long and then gave me a case of diarrhea. So bizarre. And I can’t help but ask myself, “what’s been bothering me?” “Am I stressed out?” “Am I worried?” “About what?”

Insecurities do creep up. Especially when there is nothing ‘certain’ going on in your life – as I just quit my job, mind you. It is very easy to second guess myself and my decision. Did I do the right thing? Am I capable enough to do this? To try to create something new once again? To put myself out there and attract my kind of opportunities? To create my own opportunities? Am I smart enough to do this? Do I have enough strength? What if I fail? How am I going to support myself? What if I am all talk and no actions? Why do I feel so stupid, scared and so insecure all of a sudden? Especially when my friends are so AWESOME!!!! Do they think I’m stupid? Why do I feel I don’t deserve to be their friends? This went on, and on, and on. Oh boy… nonsense thoughts, right? Well, not at THAT time.. when I was thinking them.

Nobody’s perfect, it is human to feel low. And I keep reminding myself that. I don’t know where confidence comes from, but if at times, I cannot find it in me, I go to my friends and ask them to infuse confidence in me. I even let myself to have a pity party for a bit, locking myself at home with massive amounts of DVDs. Thankfully, I get bored of my own pity party… Lol.

It only takes one person who believes in you so much, that I begin to believe in myself again. I am extremely lucky to be surrounded by loving friends and family who believe in me (probably more than I even believe in myself sometimes). This helps. A lot. I realize that sometimes, I cloud myself with too much thinking, being too hard on myself, and it’s good to have them bring me back to reality.

Everyone is amazing. But sometimes, we forget to tell them that. Heck, I forget to tell myself and my friends that sometimes. Hence, it’s good to be reminded. So, not to take my friends for granted… I always tell them how amazing they are and how lucky I am to be their friends – partly because they see some amazing stuff in me that I have a hard time seeing sometimes.

How to beat insecurities? It’s just another definition of fear, right? It’s an illusion. It’s just thoughts running around in your head. Don’t believe everything you think about. Be honest. It feels good to come forward about your insecurities. Isn’t the first step to heal is to admit that you have a problem? How can you or anyone help you if you can’t even be honest about it? But then again, I am still learning :D

Day 19: See Things From A Different Angle

November 24th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

I am not a photographer. I don’t even strive to become one. But I know I LOVE taking pictures. And I realize that I choose very different subjects from my friends when we went on that picnic adventure to Kebun Raya Bogor today. My friends would take pictures of leafs, people, smiles… and I take pictures of shoes, a heart carved on a bench, half a face, baby Enzo from top.

I guess, I see life differently than other people. I know this, but lately, my pictures confirm that. And when I take pictures, I keep asking myself, “what things do I find beautiful or amusing?” and not “what else I can capture with my camera ya?” I don’t know why I find Julia’s purple shoes so fascinating that day, that I took so many pictures of it when I am in a huge park.

What attracts you tells you so much about who you are. And that’s what I learn from today’s day trip. I don’t just take pictures of everything. If nothing screams at me, I don’t take a picture. I am attracted to colors. I like experimenting with angles, colors and compositions more than just “that’s a beautiful scenery.. take a picture.” All tells me that:

  • I don’t just do things, if a task/job doesn’t inspire me — for God knows I won’t have a lot of motivation doing it.
  • I am attracted to joy, colors, variety, because that’s what life is.
  • I like to experiment, try new things.
  • I love stories and I love telling/sharing stories.
  • I see beauty where no one else might have noticed.

You may never know where you can find beauty or joy. So experiment! Notice something from afar, from really close, from a different angle. Beauty and joy exists in EVERYTHING. I believe that so much. And if you can’t see it in simple ordinary daily things, train your eyes more, for this has become my life’s philosophy:

“Train your eyes to see beauty, then there is no need for positive thinking.”

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