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Just for today: dance!

“And I’m on my knees, looking for the answer.
Are we human, or are we dancers?”
- Human, The Killers

As the question continues in my head, I wonder, am I human or dancer? Do I have to be either or or? Am I not both?

In each of us exists a being. And I also believe, in each of us exists a dancer. With that said, what differentates a human being and a dancer? In my book, this is how I define them.

Human.
Vulnerable beings trapped in a worldly world, bound my emotions, desires and expectations. Thus, we always say that “We’re only human” – because we’re leaving spaces for mistakes and imperfections.

Dancers.
Inspiring beings, so connected to the music and rhythm of life that they not bound by emotions, desires nor expectations. They feel and express feelings with all of their being, do things with full energy and commitment, do not worry about what the audience feel about their performance — because all they care is to create, express and their own feelings when they dance.

In some ways, this is why people are always attracted to and mesmerized by dancers. And when you begin to observe many dancers, you realize that those you love most are not the ones who have the best technique, but those who are so into the dancing themselves. You can see their passion in their eyes and movement – even if it’s just a flick of a finger. It’s like energy radiating so bright that even though you sit 50 rows behind, you can still feel their emotion. At times, you also realize that you’ve held your breath from watching them. They are that hypnotizing.

So, as I grow with this life, I watch myself. I sometimes catch myself being a human and other times being a dancer. I have danced through this life may it be in rain, thunderstorm, darkness and even on sun shine, beaches and heaven. And at times, I have let myself just to be human – to be drowned in emotions, desires and expectations.

When I’m dancing through this life, that’s when I feel most alive – the feeling of being connected to every bits of life. Joy and enthusiasm fill my being. Energy is flowing. Though the body is tired, the soul is rejuvenated. It’s the feeling of being in love for no reason at all – just for being alive itself. Everything I do seem effortless. I don’t have the need to control, judge or change anything. I feel free. The soul is filled with gratitude. I am lost for words. And the only thing I can do is smile. I am the luckiest girl alive indeed.

When I let myself be human, that’s when I feel vulnerable. The feeling of having no control over anything. I feel lost and without direction. That’s when I feel is the hardest to trust and have faith in things. I doubt. I think. I contemplate. I am without confidence. I question myself and this life. I find it hard to move. I find myself without energy and focus. I find myself just living in routines, trapped by responsibilities and expectations for myself and other people.

I’m not saying that one thing is better than the other, because I know we cannot appreciate one without realizing the other. So I’ve embraced both the human part and the dancer part of me. I’m giving myself time to be human for some time and be a dancer at other times.

So, are we human or are we dancer? We are both my friends. Though we are born human, learn to be a dancer in this life. And one day this life and we shall be the dance itself.

Like Osho said, “Life should be a dance; it can be a dance, it is meant to be a dance. That’s my message: love life, and with such intensity, with such fire, that you can reach to the optimum of your being.”

So, my friends. Let’s be dancers with such fire. Even though, at the end, I learn that what makes us great such dancers are because we are human.

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Just for today: do something that’ll get you closer to your dream.

“The poorest man in the world is the man without a dream.
The most frustrated man in the world is the man with a dream that never becomes reality.” – Myles Munroe

Today was like a slap in the face for me.

As my girl and I were sitting over wine and beer talking about life, I couldn’t believe that 1/4 of the year is almost over. With only 2 weeks left in March, time seems to have flown by way too fast. Because especially today, I was reminded that even though I have been busy with work and life, I haven’t been busy enough focusing on my personal dreams, on my passions, on my calling.

It was during dinner with my besties from high-school that I once again realized what my dreams truly are. Yes.. not just one dream, but many And I realize that it is so easy to be stuck in routines and business of work and life that I do not work towards these dreams. I have let myself to be guided my circumstances than creating my own circumstances.

So, I told my girl Sarah.. that everyday:

• I’m going to wake up each morning to remember and visualize my dreams once again.
• I’m going to do one thing – just one little thing – that’ll get me closer to that dreams.
• I’m going to spend time, may it be just 15 minutes, to work towards these dreams.

Just like a great advice by Josh Hinds, “Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.”

Oh yes. I know I was made for amazing things. Not quite sure what they are yet, but I’m definitely excited for them.

Because, I’m not going to be one of those people with excuses: being too busy or too tired to do something that’s important for me.

Besides, all I have to do at the moment is dream it, right? Like Walt Disney said, “If you can DREAM it, you can DO it.” So, as long as I think and dream about it everyday, I’ll find ways to do it everyday. So, I can be one step closer everyday.

Because I also believe that, “despite what we’ve been taught, we don’t have to be rich, famous or distinguished to make our dreams come true” as put by Sharon Cook & Graciela Sholander, from the book Dream It Do It

So, my friends.. Just for today. Let’s do something that’ll get us closer to our dreams. Let’s remind each other of our dream. I wrote this – I’m one step closer. What did you do?

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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Unknown

Growing up is a process, not an event.
~ Paul B. Jamison

I had a wonderful lunch with a beautiful lady who is also my mentor and friend. She’s actually one of my mom’s friend, a smart, kind and loving woman who’s already like my own mother. I haven’t seen her for a while and it was good to catch up with her over Italian food. And today, we talked about life and growing up.

She has witnessed my growth in the past few years. She has witnessed my anger, disappointment, insecurities and even immaturity in the past – but today, I told her that I think now I understand what it means to grow up.

Talking to one of the assistants at work, she is so afraid of getting older, of growing up – because she believes that she has more responsibility. She keeps comparing herself to other people, how she is not as successful as others with her age. She has so many dreams and things she wants to accomplish and age is not a good reminder. She’s cute. It makes me think about my experience in “growing up”.

Growing up, for me, means taking full responsibility of your own life. What does it mean by “taking full responsibility”?

• by not blaming others when you’re feeling bad, sad, angry or even disappointed
• by not complaining in whatever situations you are in
• by not taking pity of yourself
• by not comparing yourself with others
• by not being defensive when someone gives you their opinion

but..

• by seeing all adversaries as an opportunity to grow
• by learning from every moment and experiences
• by being able to appreciate and thank all the things that happen in our lives
• by being able to see the beauty behind all the pain
• by challenging yourself to come out of your comfort zone
• by taking charge of your own life
• by loving who you are.

Growing up is being able to say “I create everything that’s going on in my life – may they be good or bad.”

• I create all the pain, disappointments and unhappiness. But I also create all the beauty, joy and love in this life.
• I create all the bad lucks. But I also create all the magic and miracles.

Like what Albert Ellis said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

So, have I grown up? In some ways, yes – because I’ve realized all those, especially that I am the one in control of my own happiness and success. But then, I also know that growth has no limits, so I have every possibility to learn and grow everyday. I don’t think I can ever be a “grown up” because I don’t really know what that means. But I’d like to think that I’ve made the effort to grow everyday – reminding myself each day that the only way I can be truly happy with my life if I can take full responsibility for it so that I continue to have best years.

So, I leave you with this quote by Henri Bergson, “To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Maybe that’s why my name has the word “Braman” in it – taking from the Hindu God of Creator, so that I can keep creating myself endlessly.

Thank you life, for giving me the opportunity to grow.

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I __________________________________________

The eye you see is not

an eye because you see it;

it is an eye because it sees you.

II

To talk with someone,

ask a question first,

then — listen.

III

Narcissism

is an ugly fault,

and now it’s a boring fault too.

IV

But look in your mirror for the other one,

the other one who walks by your side.

V

Between living and dreaming

there is a third thing.

Guess it. Read the rest of this entry »

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Angels. Revelations. Acceptance. Letting Go. Troubles. Growing Up. Blessings.

I need to tell the world. I want to tell the world. That’s how full my heart is, that all I want is to scream it out to the world, to share with the world, to be with the world.

All my life, I have always said that my life would start when I turn 30. Not realizing the cosmic truth behind it, when I turned 30, I was given a new life. Sets of great experiences start happening in my life; experiences that triggered my growth that make me feel like I’m a completely new person now. Well, I am still me, but a very different me. A full me. An alive me. I’m still not sure how to describe it, but all these feelings that give me the patience and courage I didn’t know I have. Feelings that give me the attitude to see life from a beautiful point of view. It’s like I finally know why I’m here.

Today, I just really want to take the time to thank 2009 and all its blessings.

God sent me angels in the form of such beautiful friends that I couldn’t have picked better. Angels who inspire me to be a better being. Angels who support me when I’m down. Angels who love me for who I am, coming from a place of non-judgment. Angels who make me realize the angel in me too. I am thankful for my angels. Read the rest of this entry »

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