Day 28: Connect With People, You Never Know What Things You Learn…

December 3rd, 2010 § 2 comments § permalink

Everyone is a source of inspiration and empowerment.

And I believe in that even more especially after having a busy week of catching up with old friends and meeting new people this week.

You are inspiring, is a lesson I once again re-learn while having coffee with an old friend from elementary school. We’ve known each other for 20 years and I cannot believe my ears when he says, “If I didn’t know you since elementary school, I’m probably very intimidated to be hanging out with you.” What??? Me? Why? I am not a successful business woman. I don’t have a prestigious job or position. I am not a millionaire (yet). I am not… the list goes on. But from what he says is, someone doesn’t have to be inspiring just because of the things they do or have but just from being who they ARE and they way they make someone feel. It is as easy as being a joyful, positive, energetic person. So, thank you D!

A movement starts with YOU moving! As simple as that is what I learn from my friend Irwan Ahmett from his passion and projects as he searches for his own happiness. He tells me, he is not happy, so to search for his own happiness, he starts all of this projects such as The Urban Play and The Happiness Project funded from his own pocket. Wow! Before you know it, poeple start to hear about his mission to find happiness and participate in the projects. Now he receives funding for them projects. He was even a speaker at TEDxJakarta. Soon, he shall travel around the world spreading this ‘movement’ funded by other people. And you know what? That was his dream: to be a nomad traveling around the world for a year. I am so proud of him. I thank him for reminding me that if I want to start a movement, I better start with me.. am I already moving? What have I invested? Do I believe in it? What’s my mission?

Do not settle, dreams do come true. It takes her 7 (seven) years to finally have her own Dance Studio since she first started United Dance Works. Her dancers now are the highest paid dancers in Jakarta, with a very unique style who focus on quality, getting treatments just like other artists on stage and they can even make a GREAT living in Jakarta. Her competition are dancers with half the fee that she offers, yet she believes so much in the talent and quality of her dancers that now.. every major TV Stations and Artists look for her. She breaks all stigmas that dancers cannot make a living, that dancers are only erotic dancing, that being a dancer is a professional, proud, prominent job. Yes, it takes her 7 years to get here now – to break these stigmas. Keyword? Persistence.

No such things as coincidence. Jen is an interior designer with affiliations and projects all over the world. Which is perfect because she LOVES traveling. When asked why she became an interior designer, her answer was simple.. “well, I was going to take fashion design, but my best friend took interior design. So that we can go home with a bus together, I switched.” Is it really that simple? What I learn, no plan can be a GREAT plan, because you have no idea where it can take you. Don’t think too much. Just do it!

The art of ‘kepepet‘, is how people rise when they are faced with great adversity. This is what we talked about over dinner with my Oliver and Jen. And when people are still in their comfort zone, they probably wouldn’t do anything. But put them in extreme conditions, then they will rise to the occasion. In some ways, could this be what I am doing to myself at this moment? With no definite job opportunities, no fixed income, no fixed plans… what can come out of this? I have put myself in ‘kepepet’, let’s see where this takes me.

You always have something to offer, is what I realize when mas Al, the prominent Indonesian Life Coach calls me. He wants my help. what? A life coach wants my help? Doing what? As he explains what he wants to do and how I can help him, in my head I was like “Wow, I do have something to offer. People do listen to my opinions and advise. I actually have great ideas.” Lol. What do people go to you for? That’s usually your talent.

Day 23: Is Being Sick Part of Being Insecure?

November 28th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

I don’t really get sick. When people come down with flu, typhoid, dengue, cholesterol, you name it… I stick with my regular masuk angin. Lol, I know, some of you don’t believe in masuk angin – which for me is a sign that I need to go back to doing exercise :p

Mind vs. Body. I am a big believer that when the body gets sick, then there has got to be something in the mind that triggers that. The past month, there are a couple occasions when I got this certain bug that made me throw up all night long and then gave me a case of diarrhea. So bizarre. And I can’t help but ask myself, “what’s been bothering me?” “Am I stressed out?” “Am I worried?” “About what?”

Insecurities do creep up. Especially when there is nothing ‘certain’ going on in your life – as I just quit my job, mind you. It is very easy to second guess myself and my decision. Did I do the right thing? Am I capable enough to do this? To try to create something new once again? To put myself out there and attract my kind of opportunities? To create my own opportunities? Am I smart enough to do this? Do I have enough strength? What if I fail? How am I going to support myself? What if I am all talk and no actions? Why do I feel so stupid, scared and so insecure all of a sudden? Especially when my friends are so AWESOME!!!! Do they think I’m stupid? Why do I feel I don’t deserve to be their friends? This went on, and on, and on. Oh boy… nonsense thoughts, right? Well, not at THAT time.. when I was thinking them.

Nobody’s perfect, it is human to feel low. And I keep reminding myself that. I don’t know where confidence comes from, but if at times, I cannot find it in me, I go to my friends and ask them to infuse confidence in me. I even let myself to have a pity party for a bit, locking myself at home with massive amounts of DVDs. Thankfully, I get bored of my own pity party… Lol.

It only takes one person who believes in you so much, that I begin to believe in myself again. I am extremely lucky to be surrounded by loving friends and family who believe in me (probably more than I even believe in myself sometimes). This helps. A lot. I realize that sometimes, I cloud myself with too much thinking, being too hard on myself, and it’s good to have them bring me back to reality.

Everyone is amazing. But sometimes, we forget to tell them that. Heck, I forget to tell myself and my friends that sometimes. Hence, it’s good to be reminded. So, not to take my friends for granted… I always tell them how amazing they are and how lucky I am to be their friends – partly because they see some amazing stuff in me that I have a hard time seeing sometimes.

How to beat insecurities? It’s just another definition of fear, right? It’s an illusion. It’s just thoughts running around in your head. Don’t believe everything you think about. Be honest. It feels good to come forward about your insecurities. Isn’t the first step to heal is to admit that you have a problem? How can you or anyone help you if you can’t even be honest about it? But then again, I am still learning :D

Day 19: See Things From A Different Angle

November 24th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

I am not a photographer. I don’t even strive to become one. But I know I LOVE taking pictures. And I realize that I choose very different subjects from my friends when we went on that picnic adventure to Kebun Raya Bogor today. My friends would take pictures of leafs, people, smiles… and I take pictures of shoes, a heart carved on a bench, half a face, baby Enzo from top.

I guess, I see life differently than other people. I know this, but lately, my pictures confirm that. And when I take pictures, I keep asking myself, “what things do I find beautiful or amusing?” and not “what else I can capture with my camera ya?” I don’t know why I find Julia’s purple shoes so fascinating that day, that I took so many pictures of it when I am in a huge park.

What attracts you tells you so much about who you are. And that’s what I learn from today’s day trip. I don’t just take pictures of everything. If nothing screams at me, I don’t take a picture. I am attracted to colors. I like experimenting with angles, colors and compositions more than just “that’s a beautiful scenery.. take a picture.” All tells me that:

  • I don’t just do things, if a task/job doesn’t inspire me — for God knows I won’t have a lot of motivation doing it.
  • I am attracted to joy, colors, variety, because that’s what life is.
  • I like to experiment, try new things.
  • I love stories and I love telling/sharing stories.
  • I see beauty where no one else might have noticed.

You may never know where you can find beauty or joy. So experiment! Notice something from afar, from really close, from a different angle. Beauty and joy exists in EVERYTHING. I believe that so much. And if you can’t see it in simple ordinary daily things, train your eyes more, for this has become my life’s philosophy:

“Train your eyes to see beauty, then there is no need for positive thinking.”

Day 16: Explore, Try New Things, Go On An Adventure – Such is Life

November 21st, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

What makes life so exciting? The idea of always trying something new. It is easy to get bored of doing the same thing all the time. Drinking the same coffee, hanging out at the same coffee shop, doing the exact same thing. It’s like someone asking you, “so, what did you do today?” and your answer is the mundane, “nothing special.” Yes, I do have em days… but I hope at least just once a week I have a great story to tell.

Exploring doesn’t take a lot of effort, all it needs is a little creativity and an open mind. Like today, when we tried this new Italian buffet for brunch at Ambiente, Aryaduta Hotel. Who would’ve thought it was so heavenly? After, we went to Pasar Baru to go fabric shopping. And no, I didn’t buy anything, but I sure had a lot of fun with my camera. I even discovered a nice little gallery that I never new existed there. And after, I shaved my head. Lol, not all, just the sides. When else can I do it? Not having a ‘job’ is perfect for such experiments ;)

Plus, if you don’t try something new, what does it say about you? You can say you have an open mind, but if you don’t try new things, don’t go on adventures, trying things that is not your ‘style’ or ‘cup of tea’, are you really an open-minded type of person?

Most of the time we want comfort, because trying something new has some risk. Like quitting my job, lol. I know a lot of people who are very finicky – they know exactly what they like and don’t like and wouldn’t even want to try something new. When they do, they say.. “see… I told you it’s…” or complain. I hope I will never be one of them people. How boring when everything becomes so predictable!

Life IS an adventure. At least for me, so if I don’t explore, try new things, make mistakes, get lost, then I am not exactly living. And no, you don’t have to travel to the other side of the world to have an adventure, but you can try order a different kind of drink, choose something in random when in restaurants, or wearing colored outfit when you always wear black. You might say “Why?” and I say “Why not?” Don’t you ever do something just for the sake of doing something? Plus it’s fun :D

Day 15: You Attract Who You Are

November 20th, 2010 § 0 comments § permalink

As I get stood up waiting for an old friend in a cafe today, I can’t help but to think about how my close friends have changed throughout the years.

I am so inspired by my close friends. More than ever, my friends today inspire me to become a better person everyday: to live a life of passion and purpose. They bring out the joy, clarity, passion, purpose, brilliance and strength in me because that’s what I see when I see them. In some ways, I want to be a lot like them: the silent heroes.

Silent heroes for me are people who are making a difference everyday in their lives although not very many people are aware of what they do. Not only that, they have so much joy, energy, tenacity and enthusiasm doing what they do. They don’t really care what people think of them, they don’t care about branding, they are that proud of what they do. They make me wonder why they want to be my friends, lol – because they are THAT amazing in my eyes.

Do we really attract who we are? That becomes my question. I cannot help but think how I’ve changed throughout the years and how I love the ‘me’ now better than before. And maybe this is why I am drawn to these types of people, maybe this is why I am introduced to this amazing group of people. If we do attract who really are, I guess I am doing something right.

You make some, you lose some. As I change, as life changes, my friends change too. Understanding that, I don’t get too upset when some people don’t want to be my friends anymore, or when I get stood up. I see it as the universe’s way of telling me, “Ika, they are not the ‘right’ people for you.” So, why forces the friendship?

As I still dream to collaborate with the most amazing people EVER, I am reminded again to BE an amazing person – with my definition of amazing, of course ;) Hence, the universe will open up and attract these amazing individuals into my life.

With that said, I still am VERY thankful for every person I have befriended throughout my years. Though we may not see each other very often now, each and one of them is still a part of me who make me who I am today. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today :)

So, I guess, my message is:

  • Look at your friends, they are the best mirror to see who you are and where you are NOW and THEN.
  • I really believe that you will become the 5 people you spend most of your time with.
  • If you’re not happy with who you are now, find new friends :D   It’s probably easier than you think.