aristiwidya.com

My dad always says, “it is better to regret doing something than to regret not doing anything.”

A wise man that guy. Hence, he is the man I call every time I was about to buy something that’s not necessarily cheap, yet I’ve been craving for so long. So, as I call him asking, “Dad, this is how much I have in my savings account and no, I don’t have a fixed income yet, but you know I’ve been eye-ing this thing since months ago. Should I get it or not?”

His wisdom is simple, yet profound. Wisdom in shopping can be applied in life – when used properly, of course . Dad teaches me to take risks, to bear whatever consequences as a result of my decisions.  And as I learn, he is right. I do regret more on things that I didn’t do – to live in the shadow of “what if’s”.

As Mark Twain has said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Sometimes, doing something that the heart wants is not a logical thing, nor rational, nor seem wise at that moment – like buying my dream camera when I just quit my job. I can easily rationalize it too, that I’ve wanted it for so long, that I will use it for my new endeavors, and many more. Paying for it was also a bit heavy, am I making the right choice? Am I spending too much?

A week later, after spending quality time with my new cam. I have no regrets. I am the happiest girl on earth. I get to channel my creativity more, I feel more alive. And I am not worried about spending too much anymore, because the joy I have with my new toy is beyond the price I paid for it.

What do I learn:

• Things you put off for a long time is probably the thing that you are supposed to do
• Take chances, listen to your heart, follow your passion – even when fear sets in at the beginning.
• You’ll never know you make the right or wrong decision at that moment, but I will always choose to make a mistake than not trying/doing anything.

When one is passionate,
he’ll find and make ways to make his dream a reality.
Courage, Commitment and Care will come so natural.

As I haul my a** back to climbing after been missing-in-action for over 3 months this morning, I am reminded again of (1) how much I love and miss this sport and (2) how passionate these athletes are.

It is exciting to know that a new-more-extreme wall is being built in Pasar Festival. It is more amazing to know that this wall is being built by the athletes or the climbing-enthusiasts themselves as they prepare for the upcoming Rock Climbing National Championship 12-20 December 2010. And when I say they build it themselves, I mean, they are the ones who make the budget, find the funds, purchase all the tools and resources then climb up that steel-installations with their gear and make this wall with their own bare hands and sweats!

Oh, where did they get the funds you ask? Oh… they search. They get loans and donations from other Indonesian and Expat climbing’s enthusiasts because sponsorship will not want to liquidate the funds until the wall is up and done.

And while they are up there ‘working’ and ‘creating’, they still have the time to give me a hard time climbing the ‘easy’ wall next to them :p Awas kamu semua ya! Saya bukan kenek! :p

So, I ask myself:

• What motivates them, really? Just to have the joy of having a new wall and a great competition? They are not getting any material increase out of this.
• What gives them so much courage, commitment and care to manifest this wall that’s been their dream since last year?
• What gives them so much joy while doing it?

I guess, the answer is so obvious. Passion.

They remind me also of my friends who does Sundaze - which is such a huge event now. But I remember when it started its humble beginning five years ago in a small restaurant in Menteng. When I saw Ade last week at Sundaze, as I told him how proud I am with this growth, he told me, “I guess people see that we do it with heart…” In just 5 years, they have made a small get-together into a movement with massive sponsors.

Passion takes you far. Yet passion takes patience.

I thank you for all of my friends who are über passionate people. You, once again, have inspired and reminded me to continue to be passionate. *mwah!

… and my message is:

• I hope you know what your passions are – or what you’re passionate about.
• If not.. start asking yourself, “what makes you feel alive and fulfilled?”

Because as you come alive, you’ll inspire others to be and do the same.

… You can ask me a million time,
I still don’t know what I’m going to do.
But I know what I’m passionate about,
I’ll start from there…

After my officially first week of no work, my girls and I ‘celebrate’ our Friday night at this secret gorgeous place that people don’t really know in Jakarta, cracking open couple bottles of sauvignon under the beautiful night sky. Yes, life is pretty #sexy. As we share what’s been happening that week, of course they ask me, “So, Ika.. what have you been doing this week? What’s the first week feel like?”

Believe it or not, I feel free. I feel inspired. I feel alive. So many ideas have flown into my being and I’ve been productive (well, you can see it from this blog ). I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do, but I feel like I’m going into the direction of where I want to go. It’s like exploring a new continent – where you’re not really sure where you’re going, but you’re definitely enjoying the journey.

But this is what I know:

• I want to be the change I want to see in Indonesia: joyful, beautiful, useful, passionate, authentic and tenacious!
• I know I want to do something in education/development – in sharing, in learning, in producing (as those are my passion). I want to spread great news. I want to create something that’ll empower a lot of people, especially women. I want us, as Indonesian people, inspire and empower one another. I believe we, as a country, have every capacity and resources to to that.
• I want to have the opportunity, the job, the life that will let me do all that – while balancing it with my other passions in family, friends, art, dancing, exercise, spirituality, etc Hey, I want a #sexy life, dahlin!

So, if I were to create an ‘ideal’ job for me, it would entail all of the above.

And with just one week of ‘free’ time, for the first time in my life, I get to sit down with no distractions, expectations, burdens to really day dream about my life at its best. You should see all the mind maps I’ve been working on, lol. But, I am here determined to determine my own destiny – that is part of a GREAT Indonesia!

As President Obama eloquently says in his speech in Universitas Indonesia during his visit on Heroes Day, “Like other countries that emerged from colonial rule in the last century, Indonesia struggled and sacrificed for the right to determine your destiny.  That is what Heroes Day is all about — an Indonesia that belongs to Indonesians.”

Be the hero in your own life, take charge of that destiny!

What’s my message?

• Know what you want: to be, to do, to have. Start from there, start from passion. Each day would be a day of discovery.
• If you don’t know what you want, start asking the questions!
• Take one little step daily, then you’ll get new ideas daily to guide you where you want to go.

Resources:

• #sexylifetips no. 2: know what you WANT!
• What do you want in life?

Motivation = Motive + Action
What gives you motive?
And what action comes out of that?

I receive a very moving email as I wake up this morning, it is from a person that found me on one of my websites – replying to one of my articles about gratitude. He tells me,

Maybe I’m a person who’s just not good at being grateful.
But growing up without parents, then being sick most of my life doesn’t help.
Even when I try to help my sick step mother, I couldn’t because I can’t find a job.
Even to reply to this email, I have to find money so I can go to the warnet.
I would love to be thankful, but I’m not really sure what to be thankful about…

My heart goes to him. I have nothing to say. I do not know how to reply to that.

But I thank you for that particular email, because he has moved me, he has given me a motive, he has reminded me again why I am doing what I am doing. I am very thankful for him, because not only he has given me another reason to pursue my dream, he has also triggered another idea into my head. (Which, hopefully you’ll find out soon )

So, I spend my day rummaging a book store and sitting in front of my computer planning my next move, creating another masterpiece.

I guess, my message is… please… find what moves you, what inspires you. This is your passion. This is the cause that you’re passionate about. Then, instead of just sitting there only being inspired, do something with it, create something because of it. For, what are inspirations with no masterpiece, right?

“You will become the five people
you spend most of your time with.”

Alright. I don’t exactly have a job. So I don’t have a boss and neither subordinates. I don’t have people I work with to provide me with ideas, inputs and supports, so who do I call? Ghost-busters… oops, no I mean, my FAM – Friends, Advocates and Mentors. This is something I learn from one of my mentors sometime ago: Sean Stephenson.

Great Friends.

They are the people I can actually call at 3am in the morning when I’m in trouble and they are going to be there when I need them, on time with great spirits. Not just that, these are the people who I am so inspired and proud to call my friends – and yes, I brag about them to my family and other friends. And no, they don’t baby me, because they would call out my not-so-virtuous-habits in a kind loving manner of course yet at the same time they will support me in whatever cause I have. We grow together, we learn together, we support one another. Intelligent, Passionate, Reliable, Caring, Inspiring, Happy, Sexy and so much Fun and Funny!!!!. I have new friends, I have old friends. I cherish all of them and I want to continue to meet great ones. You know who you are you sexy peeps!

You know that saying that goes “tell me who your friends are and I can tell you exactly what kind of person you are!“? Well, choose your friends wisely my friend

Advocates.

These are the people who will support you no matter what – kinda like your family. Even when I commit one of the 7 deadliest sins, they’ll still love me type of deal. Some of my friends are also my advocates. I don’t spend a lot of time with them, but I know in time of need, they’ll be the ones by my side, fighting for and with me.

Mentors.

And these are the people who I seek advise from. I look up to them. I respect them. I am so blessed I can learn from them and they would actually share their experiences with me. While some of my mentors I call regularly, some are random strangers I meet at random places. Some are mentors I have never even met, those I meet through books, internet and videos. You’ll never know who you’ll learn from.

And after I think about my friends, advocates and mentors… and how I keep meeting new great friends, advocates and mentors, I am one lucky girl! Because if I become these people, I’d be so proud of myself because they truly are such GREAT, AMAZING, WONDERFUL people in every way. Gosh, I might not be in a serious relationship at the moment, but the relationship I have with these people really make me a better person. So, I am very thankful. Life is pretty #sexy.

Things I learn:

• Find your Great Friends, Advocates & Mentors. Choose them wisely
• Build the kind of relationships that make you be a better person because of it.
• Keep learning, keep growing.