aristiwidya.com

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself.
But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself.
It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself
because if you live, you will make mistakes – it is inevitable.
But once you do and you see the mistake,
then you forgive yourself and say,
‘well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all.
So you say to people who you think you may have injured,
‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’
If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror
because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror;
we can’t see what we’re capable of being.
You can ask forgiveness of others,
but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.
I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves.
Now mind you.
When a larger society sees them as unattractive,
as threats,
as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual,
that’s rough.
But you can overcome that.
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.
If we don’t have that we never grow,
we never learn,
and sure as hell we should never teach.”
- Maya Angelou

What kind of thoughts and feelings have you had to yourself in 2009? Have you felt good or bad? Have you thought of positive things or negative ones? Have you blamed yourself? Have you felt that you’re not good enough, not worthy enough? Have you felt fear, frustration, anger and rage? Do you feel guilt, sorrow or depression? Have you let complaints and excuses run your life? Or have you lost all your feelings and become numb, apathetic and indifferent? All these things are how you think about yourself. We have become a victim of our own thoughts.

“Something happened and I can’t let it go – I can’t get it out of my head.”
“I’ve got these painful memories and I can’t stop thinking about them.”
“I just want the pain to go away and leave me alone.”

We are only human to feel and experience all these emotions. What we sometimes don’t realize is how having these thoughts and emotions hurt us more than it heal us. It’s what hindering us from our deserved happiness. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 35% [?]

Everyone has the right and the capacity to live their best life, only if he/she has the courage to create and take responsibility of it.

I used to blame others of my misery, thinking they are the ones who cause me unhappiness, thinking that life is unjust to me. I used to say that nobody understands my situation and wonder why I have such bad lucks. I have blamed my mom, dad, sister, brother, situations, friends, other people.. You name it!

Until one day, I begin to say “I create everything that happens in my life, may it be good or bad.” So, if something unpleasant happens, I’d say.. “Hmm, I must have done something that created or attracted this.” But then, if something magical happens during the day, I’d say the exact same thing too.

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it.
If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.
- Richard Bach Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 22% [?]

Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
Bible – Song of Solomon

It has been a week full of heart aches and heart breaks here in Jakarta. Anger, tears, disappointment, frustration and confusion have filled the air. I’m not sure if it’s because of this uncanny scorching heat, the unexpected hypnotizing full moon and the descent of 9-9-9 that make people do crazy things.

As I witness people I love experiencing pain, I too feel the heaviness in their hearts. Hearts that said to have been broken again and again because of love. Only the people that we truly love that can break our hearts, right?

Is this what love is?
Is love merely an opportunity to have our hearts being broken?
Is love supposed to cause such pain?
Why then, would you fall in love?

As I learn to grow in life – from heart breaks, family fights and friendships – I begin to see love in a new light. Here is what I learned… Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 27% [?]

After about 10 years of not re-reading the Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho, I met a good friend who told me that his favorite book is the Alchemist, especially the line that says “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

That night, I went home and went straight to my pile of books and find my copy of the notorious book again. I climbed right on to my bed and started reading it again, with a new found look on life.

It hits me particularly strong this time, because now that I am in my thirties, I am actually actively searching for what my purpose in this life is. What is it that I want to do in this life? What is it that I actually love doing? What’s my true passion? Where do I want to go? What’s my calling? Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 5% [?]

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion. “
- The Dalai Lama

Percaya tidak, kalau saya berkata bahwa “Kebahagiaan itu adalah sebuah ketrampilan, bukan sifat.” Memang ini bukan suatu paradigma baru, walaupun saya baru benar-benar menyadarinya belakangan ini. Sampai Dalai Lama pun mengatakan “PRACTICE” – artinya ada yang harus dilatih bukan?

Mari kita bandingkan. Banyak orang yang ingin menjadi seorang pedansa, penyanyi ataupun pembicara yang unggul. Dan, ketika kita bertemu dengan berbagai macam orang, sering kita berkata bahwa seseorang lebih unggul dari yang lain – lebih berbakat. Beberapa orang memang sudah terlahir memiliki bakat untuk menjadi seorang pedansa, penyanyi ataupun pembicara… sementara diri kita lainnya tidak terlalu berbakat. Padahal, saya percaya sama guru dansa saya waktu kecil, bahwa sukses adalah 10% bakat dan 90% kerja keras / ketrampilan.

Nah, menurut saya mendapatkan kebahagiaan sama seperti ingin menjadi seorang pedansa, penyanyi ataupun pembicara yang unggul. Ada beberapa orang yang dari lahirnya sudah sangat bahagia dan tenang… dan banyak dari kita yang sepertinya sangat sulit untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan tersebut. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 7% [?]