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Between right and wrong
Between the have to’s and want to’s
Tangled in envy, there’s motivation
Body so tired, mind so awake
Yearning to dance
… to move to beats I don’t understand

Between love and frustrations
Between friends and lovers
Tangled in expectations, there’s always hope
Heart so tired, yet curious
Yearning to be fulfilled
… to share that secret joy » Read the rest of this entry «

My heart does beat faster_________________________________________________
All kinds of feelings I cannot master
And so I sit by the window
Embraced warmly by the night shadow

What does this say about me?
What is this soul saying?
When my lips are left speechless
And the only thing I see is beauty

Oh this longing I feel
Yet such fullness in my being
It forces the body to kneel
And speak of thanks without thinking

I smile without realizing
Though these eyes are still crying
And so I sit by the window
Embraced warmly by the night shadow

each time i walk, i know not where i’m walking
though darkness surrounds me, my heart keeps singing
there is a feel of bliss, joy and knowing
that I will always be taken care of.

every time the wind blows,
it whispers to me of life so kind in the midst of sorrows.

and when the clouds pass me by,
it tells me how beauty always exists in all forms of being.

and the reflection of the sun,
embraces me with warmth.

at this moment,
i am one with all.

is this feeling real?
is this feeling eternal?
though I might still walk in darkness
I’m blessed to walk within these feelings.

I have not words to describe what I witness.
I have not felt this feeling as I listen to this music.
I have not loved until I feel their love.

Maybe this is what they call love. My heart starts beating so fast and so loud that I can feel it pumping blood to each corner of my body. I feel like I’m holding my breath the whole entire time. Awe comes into my being. I am hypnotized. I can’t even feel my body. And the whole entire time, I am just watching my new friends dancing.

Growing up, I have forgotten how dance has made me feel so alive, so connected and whole. How dance has shaped me to become the person I am now. How I have dreamed of becoming a dancer since I could walk. How I have danced all my life to each music I hear. But today, something triggers my soul once again.

Watching others pour their souls into simple and powerful movement, how they embrace the space in between them and be completely drowned in the moment fills me with envy. They don’t think about how they would look. They don’t think about what people would say about them. They just move with such elegance – which what I call dance.

They don’t have to tell me what their dance is about. They don’t have to tell me what their purpose is. Because I can already feel their passion, ideals and love. I can feel what they feel. Their souls have spoken to me. And mine understood.

This is a conversation between souls, where nothing needs to be explained, questioned or even broken down. This is elegance. This is beauty. Elegance and beauty that once again I feel within me just from listening to this magical conversation.

It’s true what Martha Graham says that “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.”

Maybe this is why I cannot describe it with words, this feeling that’s growing inside, because the soul’s language cannot be translated to words. Maybe this is why I’m so hypnotized, because I don’t need my mind or my body to understand it. All I have to do is be.

So, I thank you my beautiful dancers. I thank you for having shown me love, passion, kindness dan dedication through your dance. Because of you, something inside me has awakened. I am in spirit. I am inspired.

I surrender myself to this moment.
Let my soul speak through this dance I call life.
Let every step I take be a dance.
Let every breath I take be a conversation with God.
Let me not just be a dancer, but let me be a dance.

i walk the walk of ten thousand dreams
which i lost in between sleeps
each year, i wish upon lights
but not remembering those dreams i didn’t fight

now i search amongst sands and stars
through waves, darkness and heights
wishing for you to once again
speak to me of those I desire

i have forgotton how to listen
to this own heart
now i must again learn
the languange of the soul