To Rise In Love
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
Bible – Song of Solomon
It has been a week full of heart aches and heart breaks here in Jakarta. Anger, tears, disappointment, frustration and confusion have filled the air. I’m not sure if it’s because of this uncanny scorching heat, the unexpected hypnotizing full moon and the descent of 9-9-9 that make people do crazy things.
As I witness people I love experiencing pain, I too feel the heaviness in their hearts. Hearts that said to have been broken again and again because of love. Only the people that we truly love that can break our hearts, right?
Is this what love is?
Is love merely an opportunity to have our hearts being broken?
Is love supposed to cause such pain?
Why then, would you fall in love?
As I learn to grow in life – from heart breaks, family fights and friendships – I begin to see love in a new light. Here is what I learned…
Expectation vs. Allowing:
I used to expect my mom to be more affectionate, my sister to appreciate me better and my boyfriend to understand me more – when all I have to do is accept and allow them as they are as perfect selves. If they are not as we “expect” them to be, then is it not easier to shift our “expectations” of them?
Attachment vs. Abundance:
I also learn that the more I am attached to something, the painful it gets when it is time to let it go. Who are we to say that someone or something is rightfully “ours” when they are merely a temporary lending from God. Love is not possessive. Love can be found in many places, not just in that one person. Learn to see God and love in every face, then you find it unnecessary to attach yourself to anything.
Stagnation vs. Growth:
“He/she inspires me to be a better person” – and that’s what love is all about. Look at relationship not only on how that person has treated you, but also how he/she has inspire you to grow spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and socially. Are you a better person now than before? Have you grown every day? I was in this relationship for four years and I think the only thing that grew was my fat level :p The moment I break up with him, I become more creative, inspired and focused. And, I didn’t realize this until I have to courage to actually break up with him – even though he is actually a very nice, loving and compassionate man.
Fear vs. Courage:
I too, made the mistake of staying in the relationship with someone because of the fear I wouldn’t find someone else. But then I ask myself, do I want to live a life of fear or of love? I choose love. And at that time, I found courage again. The courage to love myself more, to not settle for less, to find what I truly want instead of compromising.
Force vs. Letting Go:
Yes, it is great to fight for love and truth. However, if you have felt so much pain, frustration and disappointment, what is it are you fighting for? Don’t you think that’s a sign to actually tell you to let go? Like what Dr Wayne Dyer tweet today “Train your imagination to shift from what you don’t want to what you do want.” Train yourself to stop thinking and talking about your pain, but focus on what makes you happy. I myself is the one who has the power to stop myself from feeling pain.
Fall in Love vs. Rise in Love:
And all in all, I am so glad I fell again and again in love – that I have trusted my heart with so many people and experienced what it’s like to be in love, to fall in love with all its pain. However, I now train myself to “rise” in love. After all that falls, it is most important how I can pick myself out, learn from all those experience and be a better love being.
If I can come out of each experience or relationship and say that I’ve learned something new and become a better person from it, then I have risen in love. If I can say that I understand more about a situation, a person or myself from the situation, then I have risen in love. If I have become more loving and compassionate out of the situation, then I have risen in love.
Do I still trip and fall? Yes of course. But now I’m looking forward to the journey of rising from it. It is time to heal. Julie Marie said, “Love is the best medicine, and there is more than enough to go around once you open your heart.” And Helen Keller said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which had been opened for us.”
Big love to all of you.
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menyenangkan… lega hati bacanya, ngga tau kenapa..
Ahh – Wayne Dyer – my favourite p.development guru !
@2amuse: glad it brings a smile to your day
i missed climbing yesterday, hope all well.
@matt: hahahaha.. isn’t he great?