Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Unknown
Growing up is a process, not an event.
~ Paul B. Jamison
I had a wonderful lunch with a beautiful lady who is also my mentor and friend. She’s actually one of my mom’s friend, a smart, kind and loving woman who’s already like my own mother. I haven’t seen her for a while and it was good to catch up with her over Italian food. And today, we talked about life and growing up.
She has witnessed my growth in the past few years. She has witnessed my anger, disappointment, insecurities and even immaturity in the past – but today, I told her that I think now I understand what it means to grow up.
Talking to one of the assistants at work, she is so afraid of getting older, of growing up – because she believes that she has more responsibility. She keeps comparing herself to other people, how she is not as successful as others with her age. She has so many dreams and things she wants to accomplish and age is not a good reminder. She’s cute. It makes me think about my experience in “growing up”.
Growing up, for me, means taking full responsibility of your own life. What does it mean by “taking full responsibility”?
- by not blaming others when you’re feeling bad, sad, angry or even disappointed
- by not complaining in whatever situations you are in
- by not taking pity of yourself
- by not comparing yourself with others
- by not being defensive when someone gives you their opinion
but..
- by seeing all adversaries as an opportunity to grow
- by learning from every moment and experiences
- by being able to appreciate and thank all the things that happen in our lives
- by being able to see the beauty behind all the pain
- by challenging yourself to come out of your comfort zone
- by taking charge of your own life
- by loving who you are.
Growing up is being able to say “I create everything that’s going on in my life – may they be good or bad.”
- I create all the pain, disappointments and unhappiness. But I also create all the beauty, joy and love in this life.
- I create all the bad lucks. But I also create all the magic and miracles.
Like what Albert Ellis said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
So, have I grown up? In some ways, yes – because I’ve realized all those, especially that I am the one in control of my own happiness and success. But then, I also know that growth has no limits, so I have every possibility to learn and grow everyday. I don’t think I can ever be a “grown up” because I don’t really know what that means. But I’d like to think that I’ve made the effort to grow everyday – reminding myself each day that the only way I can be truly happy with my life if I can take full responsibility for it so that I continue to have best years.
So, I leave you with this quote by Henri Bergson, “To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Maybe that’s why my name has the word “Braman” in it – taking from the Hindu God of Creator, so that I can keep creating myself endlessly.
Thank you life, for giving me the opportunity to grow.
Bacaan ringan yg sangat memotivasi saya di sore hr ini. Membantu saya tuk mengkoreksi dan memantau diri saya sendiri about how to grow up in the right way. Thank you for your writing..lookin forward for more readings
GBU aristiwidya
@bei: tengkyuuuuuuuuu….